Do Not Feed the Monkeys 2099: Complete Guide (Achievements, Times, Searches, Choices, Endings)

Hello and welcome to my Big Super Complete Guide to Don’t Feed the Monkeys 2099! I loved the first game, and loved this one even more. I’ve done three playthroughs already, and intend to continue until this guide is complete.

THIS GUIDE CONTAINS SPOILERS. LOTS OF THEM. I’m going to put basically everything under spoiler tags, but even still, I recommend playing through the entire game at least once before checking this out. Also, the comments section will likely not have spoiler tags, so beware.

This guide will start with a list of all the story-relevant cages. Keep in mind that there are tons of irrelevant cages in the game, that only exist to fill up space and annoy you with meaningless alerts. You’re probably familiar with some, like the Hand Scanner, or the X-Ray Belt, or the Lizard Writer. This guide will not discuss those cages further.

Every cage in this guide contains a few different sections. First is Observations, which will include what to click on and what times to watch in order to gather keywords for your notepad. All keywords will be in ALL CAPS to distinguish them from my notes. The next section is Research, which is mostly about which keywords to search to fill out your notepad for the cage. Searches will be usually be written out in the following format: SEARCH TERM + SEARCH TERM > SEARCH RESULT, SEARCH RESULT. Though, obviously, plenty of searches only have one term or one (relevant) result, or give you something besides a keyword. It’s case-by-case.

After research, there is Feeding, which will detail the interactions you can take within the cage in order to Close it. If there are multiple ways to close the cage (which there usually are), they will detailed separately.

And then, of course, after all the cages, we have Achievements and Endings, which are self-explanatory.

I hope you find this helpful! And make sure to give me a like and fav if you do 😉

Observations: DIPLOMA and DIVAN can be clicked on in her office. She will come in at 9:30 to work on her computer, until she receives a knock on the door from one of two previous clients that she turns away. Her exclusive client will arrive at 14:30 for her therapy session.

Research: When you have enough keywords in the top middle bubble, it will fill in with HYPNOSIS. HYPNOSIS + PSYCHOLOGIST > DR. AMELIA HAYES, the therapist’s name, which can then be searched for her chat handle. CELEBRITY + DR. AMELIA HAYES > RUBY BELLE, the celebrity Amelia is seeing. RUBY BELLE + CONTEST > RUBY CHALLENGE, which can itself be searched to obtain an input field for Ruby’s favorite book. When you have enough keywords in the bottom bubble, you can select the title of the novel Ruby is discussing with Amelia: THE LITTLE PRINCE.

Feeding:
Ruby’s Challenge: Input THE LITTLE PRINCE in to the aforementioned RUBY CHALLENGE input field to receive a call from Ruby. No matter what you choose, this will net you the Star Person achievement and a signed copy of The Little Prince in the mail (worth 120c).
Talk and hang up: If you talk to Ruby about The Little Prince, but don’t invoke the trance, she will be much more receptive in her therapy sessions.
Detrance: You can undo Ruby’s trance state by selecting Powehi > Powehi has no effect on you. In Ruby’s next session, when the trance doesn’t work, Amelia will blow up at her. Ruby leaves, hurt, and Amelia suspends her practice for the time being to give herself a breather. In the news the next day, it breaks that Ruby committed suicide. This unlocks a unique epilogue card.
Blackmail: If you text Amelia while she’s silently working at her desk and question her about RUBY BELLE, you can show her a video of Ruby dancing like a chicken to blackmail her. She will immediately pay you 60c and change offices, and the cage will close.
Goss-Up: Submit a video of Ruby dancing like a chicken. In the news the next morning, Ruby loses her fame, and Amelia loses her license. This unlocks a unique epilogue card.

Observations: All keywords in this cage are through dialog. The primate will call a real estate company in the morning at 17:00, alternating between two scripts in an every-other-day cycle. Later, at 22:00, she will begin her stream to take calls. At the end of each stream (Varies, but around 2:00) someone will call her on stream to sexually harass her. Observing her for a couple days will net you most of the keywords you need, including her name, KASSANDRA.

Research: KASSANDRA + SOOTHSAYER > FORTUNE TELLING LICENSE and her phone number (KASSANDRA + FORTUNE also works). GUILD + FORTUNE TELLING LICENSE > PSYCHICS. After accumulating enough keywords in the top right bubble, you can label the harasser as a WRITER. WRITER + LUSTY SORCERESS > EROTIC NIGHTS, RED HOT PROPHETESS. EROTIC NIGHTS can be searched for the anthology curator’s phone number.

Feeding: She can be called during the day, after she calls the real estate agency, or during her stream, after she takes the first caller. Calling her grants you the Magic Number achievement.
Guild: If you call Kassandra during the stream and ask her about PSYCHICS, you can choose to expose her for conspiring against her guild, or extort her for money. If you expose her, she will leave in a panic, and the next day, her studio will be abandoned. If you extort her, she will give you 55c, the cage will close, and you will unlock a unique epilogue card.
Author: If you call the curator of the erotic anthology, you can ask him about RED HOT PROPHETESS to receive the author’s name: HUNTER SCOTT. This is the name of the harasser. If you call Kassandra during the day and feed her Hunter’s name, you can decide whether to demand compensation for your help or not. Either way, she will do a special stream at Midnight that evening where she pretends to curse Hunter, frightening him and boosting her credibility, allowing her to bribe the real estate agency. If you give Kassandra the information for free, she will send you Justice in the mail (worth 90c). If you demand compensation, Kassandra will send you credits (amount not recorded) and send you The Hermit in the mail (worth 90c). Regardless, you will unlock a unique epilogue card.

Observations: Click around to get all the highlighted words. When the primate is working (He arrives at 11:00), you can click on the XXX cans normally hidden behind the curtain.

Research: BUGGY WOOGIE > JAR FEST. XXX + BARRELS > ARTISANAL BEER. ARTISANAL BEER + JAR FEST > HANK SPARKLE, the man’s name. Searching his name will provide you with his handle.

Feeding: If you text him and offer to help, he’ll give you his address, asking for a unique ingredient to make his beer interesting.
Chili peppers: The beer is a smash hit. He’ll share some of the profits with you, and the Jar Fest will be revived to its former glory.
Eldersyrup: The beer is poisonous. He’ll text you angrily about it, before getting arrested for poisoning all the festival attendees in the news the next day. This (along with ChemiClean) will unlock a unique epilogue card.
ChemiClean: This will trick him into blowing up the distillery, with him inside. This gets you the Big Bang achievement and (along with Eldersyrup) a unique epilogue card.

Observations: Click on the logo for the B2BOT keyword. Each day, you can listen to the first interview at 10:00, and the second interview at 12:30. In the second interview, make sure to click on the robot’s chest for her serial number.

Research: CTSS-7094 + B2BOT will give you the profile for ELIZA REALROBOT, the second interviewee. Searching her name will give you her chat handle.

Feeding: If you record a clip of Eliza sabotaging the testing machine and send it to her, you can offer her your help. Then, if you record the first interviewee’s answer to the third question (the trolley problem) and send the footage to Eliza (Make sure to click ELIZA REALROBOT first, which will then allow you to send the video), she will pass the test the next day and send you an 80c reward. This unlocks a unique epilogue card.

Observations: All keywords are from dialog for this cage. The primate will talk with her husband at 10:00 on Cage 1, then return later to conduct a meeting on Cage 2 at 18:00. These follow, as far as I could tell, two alternating scripts in an every-other-day cycle.

Research: VILLAIN > VIGILANTE. VIGILANTE + END OF THE WORLD > JONATHAN CRISWELL. JONATHAN CRISWELL + VILLAIN will give you Jonathan’s chat handle. JONATHAN CRISWELL + COMPUTER VIRUS > MADISON SHARP, the name of the woman in the cage. Searching her name will give you her chat handle.

Feeding: You can take a recording of Madison conducting one of the Cooperative of Evil meetings.
Jonathan route: Text Jonathan, and talk with him about MADISON SHARP, then supply the video as proof. He will get back to you later, and give you 110c as thanks for getting him out of retirement. This will unlock a unique epilogue card.
Madtrix route: Text Madison, and talk with her about MADISON SHARP. Show her the recording. She will proceed to hack into your computer and use MonkeyVision to execute her evil plan. This unlocks the Madtrix achievement and a unique game over.

Observations: In Cage 1, click the clock face and the chalk outline. The detective will observe the scene in Cage 1 at 12:30, and then retreat to Cage 2 to look over his notes. Witnesses will enter Cage 2 starting at 19:00, and begin talking with the detective. Both of these conversations alternate between two scripts. at 00:00, Cage 1 will light up as a window opens, allowing you to gather OPEN WINDOW.

Research: Search FENAUGHTY to get the full names of the victim and her family members. WITNESS + ZOIDA FRENAUGHTY > SINA HAOA, the HOUSEKEEPER, and her phone number. Once you have enough keywords in the top left bubble, it will label itself the CRIME SCENE. Once you have enough keywords in the top right bubble, it will label itself SUSPECTS.

Feeding: If you call the mansion’s number while the detective is not in Cage 2, Sina will answer. If you ask her about the CRIME SCENE and tell her you want to help her, she will explain she was handling the REVOLVER prior to the murder, and upon discovering the body, hid the weapon in the GARDEN to hide her prints.
If you then call the mansion’s number while the detective is in Cage 2, the detective will answer. Tell him you know which SUSPECT committed the murder, because you saw it through the open window and it happened at 1:15. You then must accuse Sina, Marna, or Kang of being the murderer, and choose whether to inform him of where the BURIED WEAPON lies.
You will receive the Holistic Investigation achievement… probably. I got it on my first time calling by accusing Marna and supplying the location of the weapon, and I cannot confirm or deny whether or not you get it through other answers as well, because achievements don’t reset. If you have any insight, please let me know!
Once you accuse someone, the detective will make the arrest at 19:00, and the trial will be announced in the news the next morning.
Accuse Marna: Sina and Kang will react with surprise during the monologue, while Marna sits relatively silent. She will go with the detective without protest.
Accuse Kang: All three suspects will react with surprise during the monologue. Kang will be confused when the detective arrests him, protesting that he didn’t do it.
Accuse Sina: When the detective arrests Sina, she will protest desperately that she didn’t do it while Marna says she knew it.
Insufficient evidence: If you do not tell the detective about the BURIED WEAPON, he will contact you to pay you 60c for your tip, though he will mention the trial is not looking good. This will unlock a unique epilogue card for each potential suspect (I think. I’ve only ever tested Marna on this route.)
Buried weapon: If you tell the detective about the BURIED WEAPON, he will contact you to mention the trial is headed towards conviction. If you accused Sina or Kang, he will send you a wooden pipe in the mail (worth 50c). If you accused Marna, he will be especially enthusiastic, and offer a special ‘detective assistant’ job each day, which is a 2hr 30c job in the fourth slot, with 24hr availability. This will also unlock a unique epilogue card for each potential suspect.
Spying: If you tell the detective you are spying on him with cameras, he will disconnect the cage. If this is your second disconnected cage, you will be immediately expelled from the club. Otherwise, the cage will simply be closed.

Observations: The primate will swap out various reference materials featuring keywords throughout the day on cage 1, and a woman will visit the house in the evening on cage 2, alternating between two scripts.

Research: TANGLED WEBS + PRODUCER > MAI KANEKO, the name of the woman, as well as her number. DRAFT + MOVIES > SCRIPT; SCRIPT + TANGLED WEBS > VINCE TERRELL, the name of the primate. HORROR > FEAR, though I don’t know if that helps at all.

Feeding: Calling Mai and asking about Vince twice will prompt her to give you his address. She asks you to send him something encouraging.
Creepy Doll: You can send him the Jimmy Tender Hugs doll from WALLENS + DIABOLICAL DOLL to freak him out. He will ramble to Mai about it that evening. The next day, Comb By Mart will restock the doll, and if you send it to him again, the cage will turn to pending. In the evening, he’ll ask Mai to get him somewhere safe, and agrees to come back to Tangled Webs. Mai will call you back the next day to thank you and offer you a recurring special job (4hr, 64c) in the fourth slot as an extra in the TV series. This will unlock a unique epilogue card.

Observations: Click on the security camera. You can also save a timestamp by visiting the cage at that time and clicking the security timestamp. At 9:30, the prisoners will talk with each other on Cage 1. At 15:00, they will be escorted to Cage 2 to watch TV. On Cage 2, the night security guard will clock in at 22:00, and start rambling to himself at 6:00 before he gets off work at 8:00.

Research: KICKASS +MUSIC SHOW > BA-DUM TV, which can itself be searched for a phone number. BRAIN + CLOVERLEAF BANDITS > TONY “THE RAT”. THE WAILER + PRISON > RIVERSONG PENITENTIARY, which can be searched in turn for the prison’s address.

Feeding: You can send the special edition of “Enforcement” to the prison to entertain the night guard during his shift, though this doesn’t seem to distract him enough to help the prisoners escape. In the morning, you can call Ba-Dum TV to dedicate that afternoon’s song. If you say your name is TONY “THE RAT”, you can then dedicate the song to your saved timestamp to signal to the prisoners that they should try to escape at that time.

Failed escape: The prisons will run out and trip the alarm, prompting the night guard to get up if he’s on shift. The next day, the human prisoner will be back in his cell looking sullen, and the alien will be gone.

Successful escape: At the same time every night, the security grid, which can be viewed using Night Vision, will turn off. Use this time for the announcement after shipping the action movie to the prison, and the jailbreak will succeed. They will mail you a card worth 200c as thanks.

Observations: The primate will appear and talk with his AI smart home in the afternoon at 13:30, in the evening at 18:00, and in the night at 23:30.

Research: VENT HOLE + CHAMPIONS > HAM BONES. HAM BONES > JEFFREY T.D., the primate’s name, as well as his handle. When you get enough keywords in the middle bubble, it will label itself SMART HOME. SMART HOME + CONFIGURATION > UZINC (though UZINC can also be scavenged from conversations). When you get enough keywords in the bottom right bubble, you can label it AGGRESSIVE, INSOLENT, or OBEDIENT.

Timed closure: After a few days, Jeffrey will have the AI uninstalled from his home. The cage will be closed, and you can view Jeffrey going about his daily activities uninterrupted.

Feeding: You can text Jeffrey (which will give you the Convergence achievement). Asking about SMART HOME will net you the AI’s serial number. UZINC + CONFIGURATION will bring up the UzInc page for reconfiguring AI. You can enter the serial number, the password (HAM BONES), and a new demeanor for the AI: either DOCILE or AGGRESSIVE.
Docile: The next day, the AI will be nice to Jeffrey, doubling over to fulfill his every need. He will text you a thank-you, and send you a bowling ball (worth 56c). This unlocks a unique epilogue card.
Aggressive: The next day, Jeffrey’s house will be flooded. This unlocks a unique epilogue card.

Observations: The video will play for an hour or so at the same time each day. You can see how long it will be until it plays by looking at the cage. Make sure to be at your computer at the specified time, and click all the keywords in the dialog.

Research: You must Feed The Monkeys before you can do any research in this cage.

Timed closure: After ~4 days, the next media video will be of the man’s frozen corpse, and the cage will close.

Feeding/Research: Record any clip while the video is playing and send it to Goss-Up. They will put out an ad for a new ‘KING OF GOSSIP’ in the news the next day. Searching that gives you the name of the mountain range: THE SEVEN CROWNS. Searching that along with HIGHEST PEAK gives you the name of the mountain, JIGOU PEAK.
Rescue: THE SEVEN CROWNS + RESCUE gives you an input form where you can send a rescue party. Putting TOURIST IN DANGER + JIGOU PEAK in the aforementioned form will rescue the man. He will thank you with a cash prize, and you will unlock a unique epilogue card.

Observations: Click on the GRAVE and the LUMINESCENT FLOWER. When the primate is present during the night, use Night Vision to click his SLEEVELESS SUIT, and listen in on his conversation.

Research: LUMINESCENT FLOWER > HANA BLACK. GRAVE > FUNERAL. HANA BLACK + FUNERAL > DIRK BLACK, the name of the primate in this cage. SLEEVLESS SUIT > APOCALPYTIC FASHION. THE SEAMSTRESS > TAILOR SHOP. TAILOR SHOP + APOCALYPTIC FASION > THE OVERLOOK, along with the store’s phone number.

Timed Closure: After his final visit to the grave, Dirk will turn himself in to the police, and the cage will close.

Feeding: Call the Overlook and talk about DIRK BLACK, and they will kill him. Before you do, though, you can also order a suit, which will grant you a unique epilogue card and the Fabric of Spacetime achievement.

Observations: Click on the robot for a keyword. The caller ID randomizer at the bottom can give you the lab’s contact info, but you will need to check back each day for the updated number. The primate enters lab at 9:00 to talk to herself while she works on the robot. She will also make a phone call at 16:30. Each day, the call recipient alternates between her employer and her sister.

Research: CONSTELLATION + LEGEND > LISIDA, LUCY, MARSHA. These three names can all be searched with CONSTELLATION to receive planets, but CONSTELLATION + LUCY > HOO!2 is the important one. HOO!2 + ACCIDENT or HOO!2 + RAVINE will give you JULIA TEJEDA. JULIA TEJEDA + STUDENT will give you Julia’s chat handle.

Club study closure: If you respond to the SPECIAL observation study for this cage by supplying the planet (HOO!2), the mechanic’s lab will be ransacked and she will disappear for good. This will unlock a unique epilogue card.

Feeding: Text Julia and ask her about whichever name you have associated with the lab’s phone. Prove your knowledge by telling her about the legendary constellations her grandmother talked about — viewed from Hoo!2, they’re in the shape of a diamond. Julia will vow to talk to her sister about this later, and the next day, Julia will convince her to look for a safer job. The day after, she will text you to thank you and send you an Astral Clock in the mail (worth 70c), and the morning after that, the news will report her receiving a grant from her school. You’ll also receive a unique epilogue card.

Disconnect: If you call the lab’s number and harass the mechanic enough, she will find the camera and destroy it, disconnecting the cage. If this is your second disconnected cage, you will be immediately expelled from the club.

Observations: Each night at 23:30, a van will park here, and leave behind increasingly elaborate graffitti on the street wall, which will reveal more keywords as it’s drawn. With the night vision modification, you can read the name on the side of the van: SPROUT IT OUT LOUD.

Research: YELLOW EYES + GRAFFITI > TOPBIRD79, which is the graffitti artist’s pseudonym. SPROUT IT OUT LOUD > PRIMA BELLADONNA. PRIMA BELLADONNA > ROBIN MONROY, the artist’s true identity.

Club Closure: If you answer the SPECIAL observation study for this cage (provide Robin’s name), she will be killed, and many imitation artists will follow in her footsteps in the epilogue.

Feeding (Goss-Up): Recording a video of the completed graffitti and sending it to Goss-Up will prompt it to be taken into a museum, where a guard will vandalise it. This earns you the Futuristic Manifesto achievement. NOTE: The details of this ending might change depending on the completeness of the graffitti. As of right now, I haven’t tested.

Observations: Click on the satellite, the Galbrush logo, the strange device, and the red spiral.

Research: GALBRUSH + SATELLITE > TECHPOINT, CLASSIC VIDEO GAME, GAMESAT. GALBRUSH + CLASSIC VIDEO GAME > STARSHIP MONKEYS. STARSHIP MONKEYS > INSULT DUELS. RED SPIRAL > BIG DARK. BIG DARK > GUARDIANS OF THE VORTEX. GUARDIANS OF THE VORTEX > NATHAN WOOD, and his phone number.

Club Closure: If you answer the SPECIAL observation study for this cage (provide Nathan’s name), he will be killed, and the guardians of the vortex will be left in disarray. This unlocks a unique epilogue card.

Feeding: Call Nathan. You can ask him some questions about his organization, but what you really want is to question him about GAMESAT. He will give you a chat handle you can communicate with, but to pass the security questions, you will need to review the page at STARSHIP MONKEYS + INSULT DUELS. This will explode the satellite, disconnecting the cage. If this is your second disconnected cage, you will be expelled from the Club. Otherwise, Nathan will call you back to thank you, and send you a VIP pass (worth 30c) which allows you to unlock the Escape Pod achievement.

These are a LOT harder to figure out, because they’re untestable; once I have them, I can’t receive them again, so it can be very hard to determine the exact triggers. That said, here are my best guesses for the ones I have guesses for.

Zoomorphic: Reach Club Level 2
Polymorphic: Reach Club Level 3
Xenomorphic: Reach Club Level 4
Neodog: Accept the gizmograph from the conspiracist.
Neutron: This is awarded for getting the Redundant Monkey (1/5) ending.
Proton: This is awarded for getting the Insurgent Monkey (2/5) ending.
Electron: This is awarded for getting the Domesticated Monkey (3/5) ending.
Particle: This is awarded for getting the Educated Monkey (4/5) ending.
Anti-Particle: This is awarded for getting the Vaporized Monkey (5/5) ending.
Missing Link: Get expelled from the Club. I did this by disconnecting two cages, but I think you can just uninstall MonkeyVision. It also happens if you fail to purchase all the cages before the next Club evaluation. This will get you a special game over, depending on your club level (needs confirmation)
Escape Pod: Get expelled from the Club while you have the VIP card item from the Satellite cage and are club level 3. This will get the same game over as Missing Link, except with an extra card.
Metamorphosis: Purchase the Recording and Night Vision features on MonkeyVision.
Xenolinguistic: I believe this is just for clicking enough keywords, globally, over your playtime.
Big Crunch: Work all three jobs on the job board in one day.
Theory of Everything: Have at least one of each food item in your fridge at once. (All four groceries, and all three fast food.)
Cosmic Inflation: Have 500 or more credits in your account.
Kessler’s Syndrome: Have seven items in your room/fridge (gizmograph does not count). Cages that can net you items are Therapist, Fortune Teller, Robotics Lab, Satellite, Smart Home, Crime Scene.
Chrononaut: I believe this is for opening a Time Capsule item (one of the mistaken deliveries to apartment 3). I’m uncertain whether the contents of the time capsule matter at all.
Chain Reaction: Order discounted food from the fast food delivery place. (Tip the delivery girl to get discounts.) I’m not sure if you have to order a certain amount.
Hive Mind: This is unlocked for buying either a certain amount of total or unique items (I’m not sure which) from Comb By Market. You do NOT have to buy every single item, and the items do NOT need to be accepted by the recipient.
Brown Dwarf: You need the Waffly item in your fridge (one of the mistaken deliveries to apartment 3). It can eat one of your food items (I think while you’re asleep) and this will give you the achievement.
Infinite Improbability: Sleep with the towel item in your room. (needs confirmation)
Work Principle: You get this for working one of the special fourth-slot jobs. I know you can get it from either the Crime Scene cage by correctly solving the case, or the Writer cage by convincing Vince into returning to the show.
Star Person: Receive a call from Ruby Belle. See Therapist cage for more information.
Magic Number: Call Kassandra (possibly must be done while she’s streaming). See Fortune Teller cage for more information.
Convergence: Chat with Jeffrey and his Smart Home AI. See Smart Home cage for more information.
Fabric of Spacetime: Order a suit from Overlock, and have it made for you by the Epilogue. See Graveyard cage for more information.
Futuristic Manifesto: Show TopBird79’s graffitti to Goss-Up. See Roadside Graffitti for more information.
Holistic Investigation: You get this from talking with the detective in the crime scene cage. Im unsure of the specifics, but you definitely get it from solving the murder correctly, at least.
Newspad: I believe this is for clicking on a keyword that you find on the start-of-day news headlines. The easiest way is probably through the Multimedia Capture cage. See that entry for more info.
Disco ball: In the prison cage, dedicate the Ba-Dum TV song to BA-DUM TV.
Big Bang: Send Hank Sparkle some ChemiClean (Distillery) or blow up the Galbrush Satellite (Satellite).
Madtrix: Show Madison a video of one of her meetings. See Evil Lair cage for more information.