The NOexistenceN of you AND me: How to Bake a Strawberry Cake

• An oven (a time machine doesn’t work for this)
• 1 ½ cups (190g) all-purpose flour
• 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (200g) granulated sugar
• ½ cup (115g) unsalted butter, softened
• 2 large eggs
• ½ cup (120ml) whole milk (you can use buttermilk for extra richness)
• ½ cup (120ml) pureed fresh strawberries (about 6–8 medium strawberries)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2–3 drops of red food coloring (optional, to enhance color)

• 8 oz (225g) cream cheese, softened
• ½ cup (115g) unsalted butter, softened
• 4 cups (500g) powdered sugar
• 1–2 tablespoons pureed fresh strawberries (strained to remove seeds)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• Pinch of salt

• Wash and hull the strawberries, then blend them until smooth in a food processor or blender. You should have about ½ cup of strawberry puree. Set aside.
• Optionally, strain the puree to remove seeds if you prefer a smooth texture in your frosting.

• MAKE YOUR OVEN REMEMBER THAT IT’S AN OVEN
• Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour two 8-inch round cake pans, or line them with parchment paper.
• In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
• In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar using a hand mixer or stand mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy (about 3-4 minutes).
• Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed.
• Stir in the vanilla extract and pureed strawberries. If you’re using food coloring, add it here.
• Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 2-3 parts, alternating with the milk. Start and end with the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined—do not overmix.
• Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cake pans.

• Bake the cakes for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cakes comes out clean. (constantly remind your oven that it’s an oven if needed)
• Remove the cakes from the oven and let them cool in the pans for about 10 minutes. Then, turn them out onto wire racks to cool completely.

• In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and butter together until smooth and creamy.
• Gradually add the powdered sugar, about 1 cup at a time, beating on low speed until combined. Increase the speed and continue beating until the frosting is light and fluffy (about 3-4 minutes).
• Add the pureed strawberries, vanilla extract, and a pinch of salt. Mix until fully incorporated. If the frosting is too thick, you can add a bit more strawberry puree or a tablespoon of milk to reach the desired consistency.

• Once the cakes have cooled completely, place one layer of cake on a serving platter or cake stand.
• Spread a generous amount of frosting over the first layer, smoothing it evenly with a spatula.
• Place the second layer of cake on top and frost the top and sides of the cake with the remaining frosting.
• Optionally, decorate with fresh strawberries or a few strawberry slices on top for an extra decorative touch.

• Allow the cake to set for about 30 minutes to an hour for the frosting to firm up a bit before slicing and serving.
• Enjoy your homemade strawberry cake!

In the event of an oven transforming into a time machine or other related inconveniences, please contact Lilith for further assistance.